When she was 8 weeks old we had settled into her routine and I was getting ready to go back to work at my part time job. Tyrone and I decided to celebrate by having a short afternoon to ourselves. Azaria was cared for by my sister and my neighbor who was a nurse was in alert in case anything was needed. 

We went to the mall on September 27th and I finally felt comfortable enough to buy baby announcements- we were going to let the world know our baby girl is here. We then went to a movie- halfway through the movie I heard a theater employee call my name- I sat there stunned-he called my name 3 times- we knew at that point something was very wrong. My sister was on the phone line stating she was at the hospital with Azaria- stating while she was holding her that she stopped breathing. I couldn’t comprehend this- we were only gone about 45 minutes at that point. 

We rushed to the hospital which was close to the theater and ran inside. When they saw us they brought us to a small conference room- I started to panic- and the ER doctor came in and sat down and simply said “she’s gone”. 

When I was pregnant with Azaria and was planning on hospice care – I had prepared my mind for her loss. I dreamt of a peaceful death for her- perhaps in my arms or her fathers. She was 8 weeks old when she died and I was not there- I was not prepared for that- I sobbed and sobbed and remember asking God why would he take her when I was not with her.

 When she died we were told casually that it was due to a nosocomial infection that her heart couldn’t handle- a hospital acquired infection. 

A few days later we buried our sweet daughter. And as I stated in  a previous  post it was pouring rain- then as they were preparing to lower her into the ground the sky opened and I felt an enormous heat burning on my head- the sun was shining bright- and as quickly as it came it left and began to rain again. But I felt a peace I cannot explain after that and I knew it would be okay.

In the days and years to follow I became grateful for the “extra” time we had with Azaria. Remember while pregnant i only was planning to have minutes to hours with her and we were blessed with exactly 8 weeks. 8 beautiful weeks to really get to enjoy her and to see her fighting spirit.